From the mind of the rabbit

Anyone who has me on their friends list knows I mostly keep to myself and don't talk much unless I have something to say.

It is 4AM and I am unable to sleep. Partly this is because I was on night shifts for the past two weeks and haven't transitioned to a diurnal (Did I spell that correctly? It looks odd written out) sleep pattern, and partly because I have way too much shit going around in my head. I'll spare you most of the details as they are largely uninteresting to people not involved.

So much of the time, when things go wrong, I am the strong one. Stoic and resilient in the face of adversity. At least that's what I pretend. I pretend to be strong so those close to me have someone to lean on. This past month has been a shitstorm and through it all I have tried desperately to stay firm even when falling apart. I feel like if I don't, I will be letting people down.

For the past two months I have been in the midst of a fairly intense (for me) depression. I know those that love me do so regardless of my emotional or mental state, but I still feel compelled to try and hide it from them so they won't worry. It's hard enough doing that without everything else that has been going on and I don't know how much longer I can do it.

I feel selfish for even thinking these things.

One of my primary concerns is, of course, money. I graduated from animation school in the worst possible economic climate. No new shows are being produced, so studios aren't hiring new talent and in many cases are having to lay off experienced veterans for lack of work. So what do I do after spending 12 months, countless hours, and $20000? I work at Chapters of course. I live paycheque to paycheque, and sometimes not even that. I'm desperately trying to find something that gives steady hours and higher than retail wages, but so far no luck.

Working nights in conjunction with my being depressed and withdrawn has put a lot of unnecessary strain on my relationship with Erin and I feel awful for it. I had to volunteer for the night shifts because it was 40 hours in 4 days (2 hours overtime each night) and my paycheque needed the help. It also meant that for both weeks, I would not see Erin (or anyone else, for that matter) for 4 days straight.

I don't even know where I'm going with this and it's now 4:40am, so I will conclude with this:

November has been a goddamn shitty-ass fucking abomination of a month and I am glad to see it go and hope December turns out to be less of a cock up.

Well, that's it. I have graduated from animation school. Now, to find a job...

that I will be finished animation school in less than a week. At the moment, I am putting the final touches on my Flash animated short film and blocking out distractions with loud music in my giant headphones.

Animated vikings and speed metal, life is good.

Also, Disneyland in less that three weeks!

You will need:
One (1) coke slurpee
One (1) bottle of espresso vodka

Instructions:
-Remove plastic dome lid from slurpee cup
-Remove cap from espresso vodka bottle.
-Add espresso vodka to the slurpee. Apply liberally.
-Stir the slurpee to ensure even distribution of vodka in the slurpee.
-Place plastic dome lid back on the slurpee cup.

Enjoy!

Go see WALL-E! I command you!

Also, the short film "Presto" that plays before WALL-E ranks up there with the best of Tex Avery directed Looney Tunes.

Pixar owns my soul.

Well, now that the date has finally arrived, my non-disclosure agreement has been lifted. Back in December, I had the opportunity to visit Hothead Games here in downtown Vancouver to participate in a focus test of Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness Episode One

What I played was not a complete build of the game, and had many bugs and some game elements were simply not working at the time. That being said, I had a blast. If you are a fan of Penny Arcade, you should buy this game, or at least grab the demo and give it a whirl. I will be purchasing it as soon as I get home from school today. If you remain unconvinced, I have three words for you: Fruit Fucker Prime.